dealing with disappointment 🙇♀️
Hello dear reader,
I’m waiting for some news. It’s news about something that’s now outside of my control, that I would love to see happen. You know the kind of thing.
New job
Getting pregnant
Exam results
Buying a house
Getting accepted onto a course/ uni
A new relationship progressing
There’s little point in me pretending that I’m not invested. I’m not on the fence. I want it to work out. But it might not. In fact, there is a high likelihood that it won’t.
How do we handle disappointment? How do we handle the waiting? How do we stay hopeful, but not get our hopes up? What’s the right balance to do between manifesting it into reality and being humble and authentic?
As I am sure you can relate, I’ve been here many times before. This current situation doesn’t involve a new set of emotions, it’s simply a new iteration of an age-old situation.
How do we hold on to hope, but avoid breaking our hearts in the process?
Never easy.
In this week’s episode of You’re Better Than That, Zo and I chat about this tricky subject. Together we cover:
The reality of disappointment - I share some situations from my life so far that have left me disappointed. We chat about how this can taint any future situations if we're not careful, leaving us jaded and pessimistic.
What we learn from our parents - I share a bit about what I learned from my own parents about ‘getting our hopes up’ and how this has shaped the way I deal with things (and how I wish I was different).
Foreboding joy - we talk about a concept coined by Brene Brown which shows us why some of us can even ruin the good moments of our lives by being fearful and anxious. Even in the happiest of moments we’re convinced that something is going to come along and burst our bubble.
Toxic positivity - why being honest about disappointments is important and how rubbish it is when we are forced to be positive before we’re ready.
What to do when we are disappointed - I take us through a few practical things we can do when we are facing a situation that we really didn’t want to be in, an outcome that wasn’t what we had hoped for, and how we can help ourselves to come through unscathed and remaining hopeful.
If you’re in a season of waiting for the outcome - I am with you - stay hopeful. Your heart will be sad whether you try to protect it or not, so you may as well let yourself feel the warmth of hope.
If you’re in a season where you’re dealing with disappointment - I’m sorry. One thing to take from it is that we only get disappointed about things that we care about - and that’s never something to be ashamed of.
If you’re in a season where it worked out - amazing! I’m so delighted for you. Enjoy the celebration without any fear of the future.
Here’s some final thoughts in summary before I sign off and let you go and listen to the episode.
1 quote: “There are too many people in the world today who decide to live disappointed rather than risk feeling disappointment.” ― Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart
1 stat: According to CitizenMe, people in the UK are most likely to be disappointed about the amount of sleep they’re getting on average (44% are disappointed), their current income (45%), the number of books they’ve read in the past year (42%)
1 question: Thinking about a recent time that you’ve faced disappointment, what does this teach you about what matters most to you?
Love,
Hannah x
P.S. If you’re currently feeling disappointed with work, life, your sense of direction - sign up to The Purpose Pursuit Wait List - we go again in September with a brand new coaching course and approach. (Waitlisters also get a special gift!)
P.P.S. If you’ve not had enough of me yet, I’m a guest on another podcast that’s out today. I join Amy Rowlinson on her pod, Focus on Why for a purposeful chat on what really matters - have a listen here.
Love, Hx