it’s helpful when you realise we all do it 💡

S T O R Y

Whether it’s looking over the garden fence, reading humble brags on LinkedIn, scrolling holiday pics on Instagram, reading about celebrity lives or simply talking with friends, family, acquaintances, or even strangers - there’s a worldwide phenomenon that takes place in these interactions. It’s not easy to escape, it’s not always intentional, but it’s pretty much a daily occurrence for the vast majority of the population. 

It’s called comparison. 

Do you ever compare yourself to others? I know I do. And as part of my prep for writing The Purpose Pursuit, I did quite a bit of research into the why and the how and what we can do about. 

The good news is that you are not alone, and according to Leon Festinger, we are pretty much hardwired to do it. 

In 1954, Leon proposed the social comparison theory. He essentially put forward that the reason humans compare themselves to others is because we are looking to make evaluations of ourselves. 

We want to self-evaluate how we are doing, and yet we can’t easily do that by comparing ourselves to ourselves. He argued that we need a frame of reference outside of ourselves in order to do that. And so, in order to self evaluate, we compare to the people around us. 

He also discovered that we tend to mainly compare to people who are most like us - that is, in our social sphere, or perhaps one or two steps down the road from where we would like to be. I might like looking at houses of the rich and famous, but one round the corner on right move is a much more likely comparison for me to make. 

He also said that humans do two kinds of comparison - we compare up and we we compare down. 

Compare up: this occurs when we compare ourselves with others who are better off or superior in some way, which can motivates self-improvement. Or leaves us feeling rubbish. 

Compare down: this occurs when we compare ourselves to others who are less fortunate or worse off, which can lead to complacency but also increase self-esteem. Or smugness. 

Key point is - it’s happening all around us, we do it to make sense of ourselves and the world around us, but a lot of the time, it isn’t all that helpful.

L E A R N I N G

 - Comparison is part of the human experience

- We can compare up and we can compare down

- We do it to make sense of the world and to self-evaluate

A C T I O N 

- What activities cause you to compare? 

- What are the outcomes when you find yourself comparing? Does it leave you feeling lacking, falling short, or feeling smug or self-satisfied? Do you find any of these outcomes to be useful?

- Practice praise and gratitude. When someone is doing well, think about how you can encourage on 

- Focus on your own goals. There’s no comparison if you are tracking solely with yourself. It’s twee and it’s glib but there’s no such thing as too little or too late. All we have is now, and you’re right on time. 

So, what do I think of all this talk about comparison?

I know I do it, and I know that in the vast majority of cases it doesn’t help me. When I do do it, the best thing I can do is to stop, be grateful, give praise where praise is due, and use it as inspiration that there’s enough to go round, and there’s enough room for me, too. 

And you. 

Love, Hannah x