The Weight of Parent Guilt 🏋️
I’m going to be totally honest with you. Since becoming a parent, I’ve had a recurring thought return to me especially when something didn’t go to plan.
It’s not so frequent these days, as I’ve tried to send it packing, but back in the day it was a regular feature of my internal monologue. Whenever one of the boys misbehaved, or I missed an appointment, or I felt like I was falling short in some way, the same thought would pop up.
"It’s because I’m a working parent"
Somewhere along the way, I started equating every shortcoming with the fact that I wasn’t a stay-at-home mom.
Logically, I know this isn’t true. But that hasn’t stopped me from thinking it.
Where does this belief come from?
Is it because I don’t think I should be working? No. I’ve never felt I shouldn’t have a career (though getting the balance right has been a constant work in progress).
The guilt stems from something deeper—a long-held, unhelpful belief that I should be able to do everything, and do it perfectly.
That any level of compromise or prioritising myself is somehow a detriment to my children.
This kind of thinking is what leads so many parents to burnout, exhaustion, and anxiety.
The feeling that no matter how much we do, it’s never enough.
And when we believe we’re falling short, guilt sets in like an uninvited guest that just won’t get the hint.
Why Parent Guilt Deserves a Conversation
I know this is a heavy topic, but it’s one that needs to be talked about.
Studies show:
70% of parents feel guilty about taking time for themselves.
50% feel they don’t deserve it
63% are exhausting themselves trying to be a superparent
Why is this happening?
Because we live in a world that expects women to work as if they don’t have children, and to raise children as if they don’t work.
It’s an impossible standard.
The Many Triggers of Parent Guilt
There are so many influences that fuel these feelings:
✅ Cultural and societal expectations
✅ The pressures we put on ourselves
✅ The way we were raised
✅ The perfectionism social media promotes
✅ The overwhelming amount of parenting advice available
Many of these pressures come from a place of love—we want to be great parents.
But the reality is, no one can keep up with the relentless demands of super-parenting, whether they work outside the home or not.
Shifting the Narrative
In this week’s podcast episode, I open up about my own experiences with parent guilt and how I’ve learned to reframe my thinking.
We’ll cover:
🔹 Signs you might be struggling with parent guilt
🔹 Healthy vs. unhealthy perspectives on self-improvement
🔹 The impact of guilt on our well-being and parenting
🔹 The problem with perfectionism
🔹 Practical ways to shift our mindset away from guilt
Before I sign off, I just want to remind you—you’re doing a great job.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to grow and improve, but there’s a difference between striving for growth and punishing yourself with guilt. One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is self-compassion.
📖 1 quote
“There is no perfect way to be a mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”
— Jill Churchill
📊 1 stat
A staggering 81% of moms choose to do household chores or life admin instead of resting, believing that any downtime must be spent productively.
1 question
If your best friend told you they felt guilty for not being a "perfect" parent, what would you say to them? And how can you extend that same kindness to yourself?
Love,
Hannah x
P.S. I’ve said this before, but, for clarity, I know that in the UK we use the spelling ‘mum’. But I’m from Birmingham, and we spell it ‘mom’. x