Ever Felt Lonely? ❤️

I want to chat about something we've all felt at some point: loneliness. 

Trust me, it's rarely about sitting in an empty room; it's about the moments that catch you off guard, making you feel a bit on the edge.

Recently, my husband had been away for work (he’s away quite often, but I’m never going to get used to it), and it got me thinking – how do we handle life's events when someone significant is missing?

I went to a beautiful wedding, and it was a beautiful time, but there was this strange absence. The kind that makes you go, "I'm used to being here for moments like this with you.” This gave me a funny feeling of not being lonely exactly, but feeling the void, especially in a room filled with familiar faces.

But this isn't just about me - this was a small moment that started a train of thought - it's about the dynamics of loneliness, even for someone like me, an outgoing extrovert. It's that shift in gear when you're doing life on your own temporarily.

I went to watch my son play rugby recently, something I do all the time, but this time I arrived a bit late, no familiar faces, and suddenly, I'm standing there, feeling a bit out of place. Funny how even the most extroverted of us can feel on the edge sometimes.

Now, let's zoom out a bit. Loneliness isn't just about missing a family gathering or being the newbie at a rugby match. It extends into the workplace, and that's a whole different ball game. I got such a sad email recently from someone feeling dread about work, feeling isolated. She was asking for advice, how do I make friends when I just feel so on the edge, so excluded? Going into an office every day and feeling alone must be such a hard situation to face every day.

This got me pondering – is loneliness something we bring upon ourselves, or is it a two-way street?  How much of this loneliness is on us to figure out, and how much is on others to reach out? It's a tricky balance, right?

I know sitting back and expecting everyone to come to me will just lead me to disappointment, but where can others meet me halfway and welcome me in?

Add into this a relatively new dynamic - a world embracing remote work. The whole dynamic has shifted. I'm all for hybrid, but it does make me wonder – how on earth do people working fully remotely avoid loneliness? Introvert or extrovert - we need each other (probably in different amounts!)There’s this beautiful quote I stumbled upon –

"Community is the sacrifice of the introvert; time alone is the sacrifice of the extrovert.” Something to really think about - where are you on that spectrum? How much do you need others? How much do others need you? 

So, here's the big question – what's your responsibility in all this? If you're feeling on the edge, is it on you to step in, introduce yourself, and forge connections? Maybe it's about being a bit braver, offering help, and finding common ground. 

A final thought about leaders. They’re by no means immune to loneliness either. I lead so many workshops for CEOs and I can tell you now, the leaders can be the loneliest. They navigate the ship, making decisions that impact everyone, but who do they turn to when they need support?

Vulnerability is a tricky game, especially when you're the captain, but taking a risk on a few trustworthy colleagues can make the journey less lonely. But what if they let you down?

Here’s the truth - some of them probably will, but that's the nature of life. It's the risk you take to break the cycle of loneliness. 

So, if you’re feeling lonelier than you’d like, here’s a few thoughts to break the cycle

• Take a risk - trust is hard and people do let us down. Loneliness is even harder

• Take a step towards - be 10% braver than you feel. Maybe the other person feels just a lonely

• Be proactive - if you feel like nobody makes an effort, make you could make the effort instead

• Changing the narrative from "What can I get?" to "How can I give?" can be a game-changer in how you see the situation

• Change those internal narratives that say you're not good enough or no one likes you. Loneliness isn't a one-size-fits-all, and finding your people might take time. Embrace who you are, your strengths, your quirks, and step into connections with an open heart.

So, dear reader, whether you're standing on the sidelines at a rugby match or navigating the workplace seas, remember, loneliness is a shared experience. 

Take that step closer, be a bit braver, and let's rewrite the story together.

You can listen to more of my thoughts on this on the latest podcast episode of You're Better Than That' Click the link below to have a listen!