When Your Child Grows Up (And Leaves)
Hello!
If you’ve been following along, I promised you an extra-special update and podcast this week. I can’t quite believe I managed to convince him to do this, but on this week’s podcast, I am interviewing my 18-and-a-half-year-old son, Jude.
Jude leaves for the other side of the world in 13 days. He’s going for about six months.
To date, the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing him is two weeks.
In my head, he’s still this little boy.
Which, in my head, I know isn’t true. He’s a six-foot-five young man, more ready than he realises to step into this exciting next chapter of his life.
I’m writing this as I prepare to let him go. I’m feeling such a mix of emotions. I got into bed on the evening of 1st December and realised we were in the month of his departure. Out of nowhere, I had such a wave of emotion: excitement for him, panic that we wouldn’t be ready (there is still a kit list to complete, vaccinations to sort, etc.), heartache over the future separation, and grief that it’s time to do some more letting go.
You know when you know something’s right, you know it’s going to be good, but it’s also so hard too? This is one of those things. He’s not just going away; he’s going to be eleven thousand miles away. If he needs me, I’m realistically two days away. My mother’s heart can’t handle this stuff, and yet, it’s time, it’s right, and he’s ready.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There are days when he drives me up the wall, and New Zealand sounds excellent. We’ve weathered some tricky seasons (exam seasons stand out as the most challenging since Jude loves last-minute pressure). We’ve had some wonderful times too. He’s grown in so many ways, and yet still has so much growing to do. I’ve grown too, in parenting him (I think!), and yet, even though he’s now an adult, I’ve still got a long way to go.
In this week’s podcast episode, I got Jude to sit down with me so we could talk about parenting and growing up from both of our perspectives. I didn’t want to do it without him because I knew he had so much to contribute to the topic, that he’d be honest, and he’d bring nuggets of wisdom for other parents to listen out for. Together, we chat about:
Things we wished we’d done differently
How we’re both preparing for his independence
How to make decisions (and how parents help/hinder!)
What he will and won’t miss about home
What you’d tell your 18-year-old self
I’ve got to say, this is one of my favourite episodes yet.
If you’re parenting little ones, this is a sneak peek into the next stage. If you’re past this stage, it might stir up some emotions. If you’re in it right now, maybe it’ll help you process. And if none of these apply, have a listen anyway because Jude is worth tuning in for!
One quick thing before I sign off with the usual quote, stat, and question to get you thinking. If you’re facing a big life transition moment like me and Jude, it might cause you to consider what the next season holds for you. I know it has for me! I’ve got a proven process that helps people move on and get clarity and confidence in these moments, and it’s coming again in January.
If it sounds remotely like it might be where you (or a loved one) are at, pop your name on the waitlist to be the first to find out more (and qualify for a special gift too).
1 quote: “We must love our adult children enough to let them go. This is what tough love is.” – Alison Bottke
1 stat: According to government data, 56% of young adults who take a gap year will travel overseas.
1 question: How do you nurture independence in your loved ones while staying connected in meaningful ways?
Love,
Hannah x
P.S. Jude is going to NZ, Vanuatu, and Southeast Asia 🌏